Lesson Twenty Five: No Hay Que Darse Por Vencido

David comes to his Bueno, entonces…Spanish lesson in a significantly better mood. His father is coming back to reconquistar his mother. No way is he letting this Argentine tango nene steal his mujer!

Jimena is also planning to get back Martín, and David wants to win over Mariana once more. This is where the vocabulario de romance es muy importante. Here are some phrases we learn: te amo, te necesito, te quiero, la quiero, me gusta darte besos, tengo ganas de hacerte mimos (cuddles). Hacerte mimos is without a doubt the cutest Spanish phrase I’ve ever heard. Sounds like something an e-wok would say. ;)

We also learn some useful Spanish phrases that I’ve heard over and over again here in BA: llevar a cabo un plan estratégico (to carry out a strategic plan), darse cuenta de la verdad (discover the truth), me sé la historia de memoria (I know the story by memory), no voy a dar vueltas—mejor ir al grano (I’m not going to run around in circles—get to the point), cuidado con meter la pata (careful with screwing it up), te salvaste por un pelo (you were saved by a hair).

Lastly, we learn a semi-new verb tense. Now, there are two forms of future tenses—the one where you conjugate the verb itself (i.e. iré) and then the voy+a+infinitivo. The second is much easier, and bonus, more widely used. Love it when those two go hand-in-hand.

So, to reconquistar los amores, Jimena va a tomar clases de cocina y David va a tomar clases de kamasutra. Jimena asks David, "Querés enganchar otra vez Marianita? Dale un toque, y si no pica, a otra cosa mariposa." (Ok David, you want to hook Marianita again? Give her a call [literally translated, a touch] and if she doesn’t pick/bite, move on to another butterfuly). A phrase I've heard over and over again here, interestingly enough.

Stay tuned!

Lesson Twenty Four: Engañado Con Un Pancho

Saturday repaso time!

Bueno, entonces…is getting a bit more interesting. David followed (verb seguir) his mother and the nene to Mendoza AND Jimena followed her boyfriend to the mall. Yes, Jimena, the one who is supposed to be the more sane of the two.

Guess David finally got to her.

So, most of today is a repaso, we but also learn how to expresar opiniones: para mi, en mi opinión, creo que, pienso que, estoy de acuerdo, no estoy de acuerdo, estoy en desacuerdo, me parece bien, nada que ver, no creo que, me parece bien (Ojo con el subjuntivo!)

We also learned a cheating phrase! “Te mete los cuernos” which means to put horns in you. Yeah, sounded sort of sexual to me, too, but apparently its just for cheating. I’ve seen people do the horn expression here before, but I’m not sure about the story behind it...looks like I have a new research project. ;)

In the end, Jimena sees that Martín is eating a ton of food in the food court at the mall: pancho, papas fritas, y pizza. But, I just left him a huge lunch on the table, she says. He never eats what she leaves for him, she says. She and David come to the conclusion that he is making up these lies and sneaking around because Jimena is a terrible Cook. Engañado con un pancho.


Ouch.

How was David’s excursión? Unfortunately, there were no epiphanies or new discoveries…maybe in the next episode we’ll find out that they’re not lovers, but that she adopted him? Less perverse, and David would have a new Argentine hermano!

We’ll see.

Lesson Twenty Three: El Servicio Completo

David’s mother is a cougar!

Her tango partner, a much younger Argentine, has apparently “fallen in love” (with her money) and now the two are going away to Mendoza.

David is pretty worried, because the boy is a nene (or baby) and David’s mother is paying for the pasajes y todo. Appropriately, we learn all about travel vocabulary during this episode.

The coolest part about this Bueno, entonces… episode is that I could upload it to my iPhone and I was able to learn about transportation while I was taking public transportation. Doesn’t get much better than that! I love that it is so portable because I am able to do my Spanish lessons anytime, anywhere. I don’t need a computer or book or anything, and honestly, on these nice spring days in BA, who wants to stay inside?

Anyway, we learn about buying tickets (ida and vuelta), different forms of transportation(micro, colectivo, avion, bote, yate), the different kinds of buses (colectivo, which is a city bus, and micro, which is a bus that goes to other cities), how to ask for an aisle seat or Windows seat (pasillo o ventanilla), and the different levels of accommodation on the buses (ejecutivo, semi-cama, and cama).

While Argentina is a very long country from north to south, most people still take the buses. Why? Well, first of all, the plane tickets are generally quite expensive. Secondly, buses ROCK! I took a bus once down to Bariloche (semi-cama) and the seats recline, the bus is smooth (no carsickness), and you get wine AND champagne with your dinner. Granted, the ride is about 18 hours, but it is a very comfortable 18 hours. Argentines know how to do it.

I hope David’s mother is okay in the end, and that the nene tango dancer doesn’t screw her over.

Guess we’ll find out in the next episode.

Lesson Twenty Two: Estoy Con Una Mala Etapa

In this episode of Bueno, entonces…we learn all about the vocabulario de los trámites. Now, trámites is the word for any sort of bureaucratic process—and here in Buenos Aires, it is SUPER NECESARIO to know these words. Trámites are everywhere.

In true Bueno, entonces…fashion, we have a really funny/perverse way of learning this terms. How so, you ask? Bueno….

David has been having a rough time. First the problems with his mother, then the crappy telo with Mariana, and now he has had quite the traumatic experience in the bank. Pobrecito.

Entonces, que pasó? Well, David needed to sacar dinero del cajero (take money out of the ATM), and he got into a bit of trouble. Apparently, cuando estaba en la cola (when he was in line) he answered a phone call from Mariana. Bueno, no podes hablar por teléfono en el banco. Well, David didn’t know this, and the policeman yells at him. David, being the pompus he is, waves his hand in the policeman’s face. Why? Who the hell knows. David is then confused by the cajero, porque dice ‘hace esto, hace esto’ and pobre David is lost. El se dio vuelta (he turned around) and accidentally takes the money from the person behind him, who happens to be a travesti (transvestite). This travesti apparently has tetas the size of pelotas de basket (important detail) and smacks David in the cara. David falls and grabs algo…this algo being one of the tetas of the travesti. Well, it…comes out…sort of, according to David (we are not given very good details.) Then, the cajero come la tarjeta de David. THEN, the policeman throws David into the calle, and he accidentally puts his phone on the speakerphone setting, right as Mariana está diciendo que el es malo en la cama.

Brutal.

Bueno, being the super on-task teacher she is, Jimena sees this story as an opportunity for David to learn about trámites and gerundios.

Como ya les dije arriba, trámites are terrible processes that generally take forever and make no sense at all. Fabulous, no? Well, besides words like ‘quilombo’ ‘jodido’ ‘mierda’ ‘boludo’ and so on (mainly used in migraciones), there are other more acceptable phrases that we use when discussing trámites; in this case, ones that take place at the bank (hopefully these make more sense than the ones at migraciones).

After this vocab lesson, we learn about gerundios, or progressive actions. These have a pretty basic structure: estar + verbo +iendo/ando/indo. These endings change depending on the verb, and are really useful when telling stories or, well, talking about a progressive action.

Anyway, I hope David gets better, but I can’t really hope for much. He’s pretty much a magnet for sketch situations. Pobre.

Lesson Twenty One: Es Un Cepillo de Dientes

David’s night in the telo fue una desastre.

“¿Por qué?” asks Jimena.

…

Well, David doesn’t really know how to describe exactamente porque, so Jimena teaches him some adjetivos de vivienda. We first learn the basics, like chico and grande, and then we go on to learn diminuto (tiny), gigante (gigantic), nuevo (new), antiguo (old), pesada (heavy), liviana (light), and then we move on to some cool ones, like estrecho (narrow) da a la calle (gives to the street, or looks onto the street), puerta corrediza (sliding door). These are very useful Spanish phrases when looking for a place down here, which yours truly is currently in the process of doing. While Tarzan speak and charades can generally get the point across, knowing the vocab saves you a bit of embarrassment.


Oh right, we learned that vocab so David could describe his night. Well, David’s night was terrible because el cuarto es muy diminuto, las paredes son muy finitas, y hay un sillón con forma rara que es muy incomodo. He sat on this sillón with Mariana y se cayeron. Ouch.

We move on to learn that David is a desubicado, or an appropriate person. He’s also grosero. Two new vocab words that are going right into Tara’s Argentine Urban Dictionary.

After having the conversation that sparked the ‘desubicado’ comment (something to do with a long, hard, plastic thing that gives you pleasure) Jimena and David talk about the whole renting process here. The garantia, por ejemplo, is really hard for foreigners to get in Argentina, so that is why we pay ridiculous prices (hooray!). I love that Bueno, entonces… mentions this, as it is something that foreigners will certainly encounter in their travels. It's a breath of fresh air--generally, online Spanish courses will teach you Spanish, but that's where it ends. To know the ins and outs of living abroad (well, Buenos Aires, in this case) is just as crucial, if not more, than learning the language.

Lesson Twenty: Hola Mano, Chau Chica

Oh, Lord. What an episode that was.

We start out with David asking Jimena for her apartment so he can have sex with his hot neighbor, Mariana.

And that’s just the start of it.

Jimena's response to David's ridiculous request? Ni en pedo. De ninguna manera. She doesn’t want him to have relaciones (sex, in Spanish) in her apartment. No, no, says David. No quiero tener relaciones, quiero tener sexo, he says.

....

Okay, so generally when I watch Bueno, entonces..., I keep Word open and take down notes as the episode goes along. This Bueno, entonces... installment, however, was just too much—I couldn’t even pause to write down the general themes. I had to watch it multiple times to figure out how exactly I would be able to write this entry in a somewhat eloquent and cohesive manner.

I'd say I'm failing.

Okay, seriously though, we're learning something...I swear. We learn how to ask to borrow (pedir prestado), how to say you will lend something to someone (te presto), the ser/estar conundrum, and the difference between por/para (which is a work in progress--you kinda learn as you go).

Poooor ejemplo:

Te pido prestado tu departamento para tener relaciones con Mariana.

o

Pido tu departamento por una noche solamente.

Useful, no?

Okay, time for the content/storyline analysis. The content in this episode of Bueno, entonces... was honestly much more interesting than the vocab. I learned all about telos--places where couples go to, er, tener relaciones. I had always thought these were kinda gross. I mean, imagine how many people ya tuvieron relaciones in these beds? According to Jimena, though, telos are completely normal in Argentina. I suppose this makes sense, as people live with their parents for a much longer period of time and there is little privacy inside of the home.

Jimena also informs David that telos are places that couples of all ages go--to variar las cosas, or spice things up. So, what is inside of a telo? According to Jimena, the nicer ones have jacuzzis, circular beds, water beds, mirrors, televisions, etc.

"Televisions?" asks David, "Para mirar que? Un partido de fútbul? Una pelicula de Schwarznegger?"

"No," says Jimena. "Para ver una película pornográfica."

David, of course, is stunned/excited. English girls would never allow this to happen. And, David always thought Argentines were muy conservadoras.

"Bueno, ya ves que no tanto," says Jimena.

I think David just fell more in love with Argentina.

Valientes for Fundación Discar

I've seen this billboard all over BsAs recently...proud of the cast of Valientes, using their popularity for the good!

...but what is going on with Mariano Martinez? Que cara de boludo.