Lesson Twenty Nine: La Palta Se Fue

So…I haven’t taken a break. I think Bueno, entonces...episodes #28, #29, and #30 need to be watched one after the other. I mean, honestly, after the Jimena jealousy and rant about Martín, how could I stop?

Well, I was right, something DID happen between Jimena and Martín. Se rompieron! The palta left her. Of course, David is shocked, stunned, almost speechless—almost. In they end they agree that it is una buena cosa para Jimena, un paso importante en su vida.

I think something is going to haaaaapppeeeennnnn (!!!!)

So, that’s exciting. Screw True Blood Season finale, I’m all about the Bueno, entonces...big shabang.

Anyway, we learn about Nahuelito, the sea monster in Patagonia. It has the –ito included because it is small, unlike Nessi. Entonces, los argentinos no tienen un Nessi, pero tienen Messi…que también es chiquito. Pero poderoso, el chiquitín. (I just love that word, chiquitín!)

Then Jimena asks what David likes to do on his vacaciones. He liked to go bowling, nadar con antiparras and go snorkeling with his…esnorquel. We talk about traveling in trén, avion, micro, delfín. Yes, David once was on a dolphin’s back and he said that pensamos que el piel es como plástico, pero realmente es como una alfombra. Hm, interesante.

We finish with David giving Jimena relationship advice. Basically, he says that she needs to meditar and then choose David. End of story.

Can't stop now...time for Bueno, entonces... #30!

Lesson Twenty Eight: Martín, Estás Escuchando?

Episode #28 of Bueno, entonces…starts out with David letting us know that his father was able to reconquistar his mom! Hooray!

They went out to a restaurante intimo and then spent a night in the Hyatt Hotel. Hey, if my husband flew across the Atlantic, took me out to an intimate dinner and then had reservations ready at the Hyatt, I’d be swept off my feet, too.

So, David was pleased, to say the least—in addition to his parents getting back together, he got the house all to himself and was able to caminar por la casa totalmente desnudo. And, obviously, anything involving nudity is a treat for David.

After a little outburst from Jimena (we’ll get to that later) we learn about different types of alojamiento, or lodging. We have hotel, hostal (remember, silent ‘h’!), and hosteria (inn), albergue juvenil (youth hostel), cabaña, y habitaciones en casa de familia. We also learn words like cama doble, cama matrimonial, sábanas, media pension, pension completa, pileta, gimnasio, baño privado, baño compartido, etc.



We then get into a little role play action, where David uses his vocabulario de alojamiento to call Jimena, who works for the hotel. She takes down the reservation, and then…well, sort of stumbles when David said the reserva was in the name of ‘David and Mariana’. David says that she is celosa, and she doesn’t exactly come out and say that she isn’t. Hmmm..

Bueno, during the last class, Jimena brought some torta for David to try and he said it was delicious. Jimena didn’t believe him, and when David brought up her cooking during this class, she flipped. Really, really sensitive in that department apparently. She even told Martin that he can andá a cagar…which is a pretty strong term for sweet Jimena to say.

I’m intrigued and I think I need to find out what happens ya! I see a Bueno, entonces…marathon in the very near future.

Lesson Twenty Five: No Hay Que Darse Por Vencido

David comes to his Bueno, entonces…Spanish lesson in a significantly better mood. His father is coming back to reconquistar his mother. No way is he letting this Argentine tango nene steal his mujer!

Jimena is also planning to get back Martín, and David wants to win over Mariana once more. This is where the vocabulario de romance es muy importante. Here are some phrases we learn: te amo, te necesito, te quiero, la quiero, me gusta darte besos, tengo ganas de hacerte mimos (cuddles). Hacerte mimos is without a doubt the cutest Spanish phrase I’ve ever heard. Sounds like something an e-wok would say. ;)

We also learn some useful Spanish phrases that I’ve heard over and over again here in BA: llevar a cabo un plan estratégico (to carry out a strategic plan), darse cuenta de la verdad (discover the truth), me sé la historia de memoria (I know the story by memory), no voy a dar vueltas—mejor ir al grano (I’m not going to run around in circles—get to the point), cuidado con meter la pata (careful with screwing it up), te salvaste por un pelo (you were saved by a hair).

Lastly, we learn a semi-new verb tense. Now, there are two forms of future tenses—the one where you conjugate the verb itself (i.e. iré) and then the voy+a+infinitivo. The second is much easier, and bonus, more widely used. Love it when those two go hand-in-hand.

So, to reconquistar los amores, Jimena va a tomar clases de cocina y David va a tomar clases de kamasutra. Jimena asks David, "Querés enganchar otra vez Marianita? Dale un toque, y si no pica, a otra cosa mariposa." (Ok David, you want to hook Marianita again? Give her a call [literally translated, a touch] and if she doesn’t pick/bite, move on to another butterfuly). A phrase I've heard over and over again here, interestingly enough.

Stay tuned!

Lesson Twenty Three: El Servicio Completo

David’s mother is a cougar!

Her tango partner, a much younger Argentine, has apparently “fallen in love” (with her money) and now the two are going away to Mendoza.

David is pretty worried, because the boy is a nene (or baby) and David’s mother is paying for the pasajes y todo. Appropriately, we learn all about travel vocabulary during this episode.

The coolest part about this Bueno, entonces… episode is that I could upload it to my iPhone and I was able to learn about transportation while I was taking public transportation. Doesn’t get much better than that! I love that it is so portable because I am able to do my Spanish lessons anytime, anywhere. I don’t need a computer or book or anything, and honestly, on these nice spring days in BA, who wants to stay inside?

Anyway, we learn about buying tickets (ida and vuelta), different forms of transportation(micro, colectivo, avion, bote, yate), the different kinds of buses (colectivo, which is a city bus, and micro, which is a bus that goes to other cities), how to ask for an aisle seat or Windows seat (pasillo o ventanilla), and the different levels of accommodation on the buses (ejecutivo, semi-cama, and cama).

While Argentina is a very long country from north to south, most people still take the buses. Why? Well, first of all, the plane tickets are generally quite expensive. Secondly, buses ROCK! I took a bus once down to Bariloche (semi-cama) and the seats recline, the bus is smooth (no carsickness), and you get wine AND champagne with your dinner. Granted, the ride is about 18 hours, but it is a very comfortable 18 hours. Argentines know how to do it.

I hope David’s mother is okay in the end, and that the nene tango dancer doesn’t screw her over.

Guess we’ll find out in the next episode.

Lesson Twenty Two: Estoy Con Una Mala Etapa

In this episode of Bueno, entonces…we learn all about the vocabulario de los trámites. Now, trámites is the word for any sort of bureaucratic process—and here in Buenos Aires, it is SUPER NECESARIO to know these words. Trámites are everywhere.

In true Bueno, entonces…fashion, we have a really funny/perverse way of learning this terms. How so, you ask? Bueno….

David has been having a rough time. First the problems with his mother, then the crappy telo with Mariana, and now he has had quite the traumatic experience in the bank. Pobrecito.

Entonces, que pasó? Well, David needed to sacar dinero del cajero (take money out of the ATM), and he got into a bit of trouble. Apparently, cuando estaba en la cola (when he was in line) he answered a phone call from Mariana. Bueno, no podes hablar por teléfono en el banco. Well, David didn’t know this, and the policeman yells at him. David, being the pompus he is, waves his hand in the policeman’s face. Why? Who the hell knows. David is then confused by the cajero, porque dice ‘hace esto, hace esto’ and pobre David is lost. El se dio vuelta (he turned around) and accidentally takes the money from the person behind him, who happens to be a travesti (transvestite). This travesti apparently has tetas the size of pelotas de basket (important detail) and smacks David in the cara. David falls and grabs algo…this algo being one of the tetas of the travesti. Well, it…comes out…sort of, according to David (we are not given very good details.) Then, the cajero come la tarjeta de David. THEN, the policeman throws David into the calle, and he accidentally puts his phone on the speakerphone setting, right as Mariana está diciendo que el es malo en la cama.

Brutal.

Bueno, being the super on-task teacher she is, Jimena sees this story as an opportunity for David to learn about trámites and gerundios.

Como ya les dije arriba, trámites are terrible processes that generally take forever and make no sense at all. Fabulous, no? Well, besides words like ‘quilombo’ ‘jodido’ ‘mierda’ ‘boludo’ and so on (mainly used in migraciones), there are other more acceptable phrases that we use when discussing trámites; in this case, ones that take place at the bank (hopefully these make more sense than the ones at migraciones).

After this vocab lesson, we learn about gerundios, or progressive actions. These have a pretty basic structure: estar + verbo +iendo/ando/indo. These endings change depending on the verb, and are really useful when telling stories or, well, talking about a progressive action.

Anyway, I hope David gets better, but I can’t really hope for much. He’s pretty much a magnet for sketch situations. Pobre.

Lesson Twenty One: Es Un Cepillo de Dientes

David’s night in the telo fue una desastre.

“¿Por qué?” asks Jimena.

…

Well, David doesn’t really know how to describe exactamente porque, so Jimena teaches him some adjetivos de vivienda. We first learn the basics, like chico and grande, and then we go on to learn diminuto (tiny), gigante (gigantic), nuevo (new), antiguo (old), pesada (heavy), liviana (light), and then we move on to some cool ones, like estrecho (narrow) da a la calle (gives to the street, or looks onto the street), puerta corrediza (sliding door). These are very useful Spanish phrases when looking for a place down here, which yours truly is currently in the process of doing. While Tarzan speak and charades can generally get the point across, knowing the vocab saves you a bit of embarrassment.


Oh right, we learned that vocab so David could describe his night. Well, David’s night was terrible because el cuarto es muy diminuto, las paredes son muy finitas, y hay un sillón con forma rara que es muy incomodo. He sat on this sillón with Mariana y se cayeron. Ouch.

We move on to learn that David is a desubicado, or an appropriate person. He’s also grosero. Two new vocab words that are going right into Tara’s Argentine Urban Dictionary.

After having the conversation that sparked the ‘desubicado’ comment (something to do with a long, hard, plastic thing that gives you pleasure) Jimena and David talk about the whole renting process here. The garantia, por ejemplo, is really hard for foreigners to get in Argentina, so that is why we pay ridiculous prices (hooray!). I love that Bueno, entonces… mentions this, as it is something that foreigners will certainly encounter in their travels. It's a breath of fresh air--generally, online Spanish courses will teach you Spanish, but that's where it ends. To know the ins and outs of living abroad (well, Buenos Aires, in this case) is just as crucial, if not more, than learning the language.

Lesson Twenty: Hola Mano, Chau Chica

Oh, Lord. What an episode that was.

We start out with David asking Jimena for her apartment so he can have sex with his hot neighbor, Mariana.

And that’s just the start of it.

Jimena's response to David's ridiculous request? Ni en pedo. De ninguna manera. She doesn’t want him to have relaciones (sex, in Spanish) in her apartment. No, no, says David. No quiero tener relaciones, quiero tener sexo, he says.

....

Okay, so generally when I watch Bueno, entonces..., I keep Word open and take down notes as the episode goes along. This Bueno, entonces... installment, however, was just too much—I couldn’t even pause to write down the general themes. I had to watch it multiple times to figure out how exactly I would be able to write this entry in a somewhat eloquent and cohesive manner.

I'd say I'm failing.

Okay, seriously though, we're learning something...I swear. We learn how to ask to borrow (pedir prestado), how to say you will lend something to someone (te presto), the ser/estar conundrum, and the difference between por/para (which is a work in progress--you kinda learn as you go).

Poooor ejemplo:

Te pido prestado tu departamento para tener relaciones con Mariana.

o

Pido tu departamento por una noche solamente.

Useful, no?

Okay, time for the content/storyline analysis. The content in this episode of Bueno, entonces... was honestly much more interesting than the vocab. I learned all about telos--places where couples go to, er, tener relaciones. I had always thought these were kinda gross. I mean, imagine how many people ya tuvieron relaciones in these beds? According to Jimena, though, telos are completely normal in Argentina. I suppose this makes sense, as people live with their parents for a much longer period of time and there is little privacy inside of the home.

Jimena also informs David that telos are places that couples of all ages go--to variar las cosas, or spice things up. So, what is inside of a telo? According to Jimena, the nicer ones have jacuzzis, circular beds, water beds, mirrors, televisions, etc.

"Televisions?" asks David, "Para mirar que? Un partido de fútbul? Una pelicula de Schwarznegger?"

"No," says Jimena. "Para ver una película pornográfica."

David, of course, is stunned/excited. English girls would never allow this to happen. And, David always thought Argentines were muy conservadoras.

"Bueno, ya ves que no tanto," says Jimena.

I think David just fell more in love with Argentina.

Lesson Nineteen: Un Turista Mala Onda

David comes back from Mar del Plata today. He had a very, very bad time on his trip. Jimena asks why, seeing as how it is such a beautiful place.

“Nah, nah, NAH!” says David. It’s not beautiful at all, he says.

Jimena tells him that an Englishman discovered Mar del Plata—and no, it was not Beckham, David. It was Sir Francis Drake, and he called it Cape Lobos, because of all of the sea lions (called lobos marinos, or sea wolves, in Spanish) that are seen there. David is a bit confused. He didn’t see any lobos marinos in Mar del Plata. Jimena then asked if he went to the puerto or the pedestrian mall. No and no—David doesn’t know what she’s talking about...he didn’t see any of this on his trip!

Jimena doesn’t understand why he didn’t see these things either—what did he travel five hours for? David says it wasn’t a five hour trip; it was more like an hour and a half.

......

Ahhh, now Jimena understands—David went to La Plata, not Mar del Plata. Oh, David. Que boludo. He’s pretty pissed about it too, saying that it’s a tourist trap created by La Plata; why do they have two cities named so similarly only a couple hours away from one another? If David was in charge of things, all cities would have numbers, so as not to confuse one with the other.


Next up is vocabulario—we learn about the names of streets and cities in Argentina and Chile. Most of these are named after historical figures like San Martin, Juan B Justo, and Bartolemé Mitre. We also learn about the Spanish verbs ser/estar in terms of describing a city, and we learn about adjectives to describe cities. We also talk about taking the bus, subte, and train, which are VERY useful Spanish phrases in Buenos Aires. Thank you, Bueno, entonces...!

We finish with David talking with Jimena about the valor del sexo in a relationship (I don't really know how we got here, but it makes sense, I promise), and Jimena tells David that sexo no tiene nada que ver con amor. Of course, David disagrees wholeheartedly and says that Jimena only thinks this because her boyfriend is bad in the sack.

Lesson Eighteen: Cumpleaños y el Caso Perdido

Today is David’s cumpleaños! Wahoo! Jimena starts the class off by singing Feliz Cumpleaños to him, and he has a rather interesting response to it...

Anyway, today is also the Saturday repaso with Jimena. David tells Jimena that he is going on a trip to weekend—he had his palm read by a beautiful woman and she told him she was going to an astrology retreat in Mar del Plata, so he’s going to go as well. He invites his princesa Jimena, but she kindly declines, as she is muy relajada at the moment. She is going to meter in the jacuzzi, and David becomes quite jealous, as he discovers Jimena’s boyfriend is wealthy enough to afford a jacuzzi in their home. This whole jacuzzi thing is quite the distraction throughout the entire episode, which is unfortunate because David has a hard enough time staying on track as it is.

After the introduction of the jacuzzi distraction, David asks Jimena for an explanation in terms of the whole Castellano/Español thing. I remember being really thrown off when I first got to Argentina and everyone was asking me how my Castellano was coming along. Uh, you mean Spanish? Wait, am I learning the wrong language? Well, according to Jimena, both refer to the official language of Spain and of the language of countries that are ex–colonies of Spain. The word ‘Castellano’ comes from Castilla, the region in the central of Spain. Apparently, Castellano is the name of the language, and Español is the nationality of Spain. It is more modern to say one speaks Español, but Castellano is accepted, as well.


After the long castellano/espanol explanation, David and Jimena play a guessing game where David has to describe famous people. We then play Tutti Frutti, a game that is often played in schools here, where Jimena says a letter and David has to say words in specific categories that start with this letter. David thinks he will be a lot better at this game than he actually is, and the explanations for words he chooses are, as always, very creative. Sangre, in David's world, is an adjective used to describe a person. Reasoning? If someone was covered in sangre and you didn't describe them as being covered in sangre, it would be an inaccurate description. Touché.

On another note, my dad has been watching Bueno, entonces... as well. The other day while making huevos rancheros on top of tortillas, my mom said, "Wow, that's a heaping pile of food." My dad's response? "Yeah, it's a taco alto."

Interesting what one picks up during their Spanish lessons.

Lesson Seventeen: Lluvia, Viento, y Una Canción con David

Ah, useful Spanish phrases. Today's Spanish lesson couldn't have come at a better time: Buenos Aires weather is crazy at the moment, and today we discuss all of the ways to describe what's goin' on with the clima.

After a chat about a possible Bueno, entonces... pijama party (yes, random), we learned about the clima, or weather, with Jimena and David. Terms we learned included sol, despejado, nubes, nublado, viento, tormenta, niebla, hace frio, hace calor, llueva, nieva, etc. In addition, we learned the terms for the estaciones, or seasons: verano, primavera, invierno, and otoño.

I was able to use a number of these words with the lluvia de mierda that was falling durante todo el dia here in BA. Check out how many are in the following phrase: “Se fue el sol! Está todo nublado. Casi hay una tormenta—hace frio, hay viento y todavía está lloviendo….che, cuando empieza primavera? Por Dios!” I mean, kudos to me for being a good Spanish student and using my Bueno, entonces... vocab! I just wish I would have been able to use the terms for good weather. Sun, clear skies, warm weather...instead of rain, wind, and freezing temperatures. Dees-gus-ting.

On another note, we got to hear David sing again. I was waiting for another tune after his tango bit a few lessons back. So, David was asking Jimena what her signo (astrology sign) was—apparently, it’s the only way to start up a conversation with an Argentine girl—and she told him that she was a Virgo. Well, one thing led to another and we have David singing “Like a Virgin” in Spanish. I don’t know if it will stick like “poorrr unnaa cabeeezzaaa”, but it was equally as entertaining.

Lesson Sixteen: Compras, colores, y drogas alucinógenas

David letting Jimena know that he would be happy to accompany her if she needs help lingerie shopping. Jimena, not so happy with David's offer.

Jimena comes to class today very, very excited. She just won a $ 3000 peso shopping spree! Score!

Of course, to go shopping, one must know the proper vocabulary. In my experience, these words are the ones that differ most from country to country. Musculosas, polleras, and buzos are all words that I learned when I came to Argentina—I’d never used them in other Spanish-speaking countries. It’s really helpful, too, to know the correct vocab when walking into a store here in Buenos Aires, because it’s a pretty intimidating situation. Many of the stores on Cordoba, Cabildo, Corrientes, and Santa Fe are small and boutique-like, so there is no avoiding the sales people.

I know it sounds silly, but it is extremely nerve racking going into a place and not knowing how to describe what you want. After months here, I still go in and confuse the hell out of the poor employee. This particular lesson has benefited me the most thus far because we are learning very colloquial, conversational language that I could literally go out and use right now. I promise you, Rosetta Stone (and most other Spanish language programs, for that matter) does not teach you terms like these that you could literally take to the streets.

After learning about clothing, we learn about colors. I learned that there are some colors that change in terms of masculine/feminine, singular/plural, and some do not change at all. Never knew this! Por ejemplo: tengo una camiseta roja/tengo unas camisetas azules/tengo una camiseta de color naranja. (The hallucinogenic drugs fit in somewhere in the color section--guess you'll have to watch to find out!)

We then learn about objetos directos e indirectos. These are nothing short of a nightmare, let me tell you. I don't mean to be discouraging—they are just pretty darn hard to get right. Por ejemplo, if you want to try on a pollera, you say: ¿Puedo probármela? Or, if you wanted to say “Perhaps I will show it to you,” you say, "Quizás te lo demuestre." This is, directly translated, "Maybe you it I will show." The Bueno, entonces... crew obviously realized that this would be a difficult structure to teach, and the color coding that they use throughout is really, really helpful here. The phrase is broken down, so even while the concept is a bit daunting, you are able to see exactly what is going on.


Voilá! Easy peasy. Sort of.

Bueno chicos, eso es todo. Hasta la proxima!