Learn Spanish with Bueno, entonces... Thanksgiving sale!

Ok, so the guys at General Linguistics have a special offer for Thanksgiving!
Check it out here:
Give the gift of tongue!

Also, here's a clip of one of their classes so you get a grasp of what's all this about:



Happy Thanksgiving everyone or Feliz Día de Acción de gracias as my Spanish speaking friends would say!

Bueno, entonces... Learn Spanish on your iPhone - iPod

Bueno, entonces... class 1 covered the areas of greeting someone, introducing oneself, nationalities, the alphabet, basics for learning verbs, masculine/feminine, and a million other things in between. I know, it sounds like a bit much for a first lesson, but I think it works because I genuinely became immersed in the program. Verbs, nouns, fem/masc endings, etc., are all color-coded, and there are arrows that help one remember that the verb is in past/future tense. There is also a little Argentine flag that pops up when the word or term is unique to Argentina. My eyes and ears and kept busy the entire time, and the dialogue between Jimena and David is often interrupted by the little profe guy teaching us something new, so my brain has to keep changing gears and I never zone out.
Read the whole review about this class here!

I just found this to buy Bueno, entonces... Class 1 on the iTunes App Store, check it out:

Best iPhone apps at AppStoreHQ

Lesson Thirty: QUÉ?!

Here we are, my friends; last day. I felt like I’ve learned a ton of Spanish. Honestly, going into this I thought I’d have a few laughs and enjoy the story, but I didn’t expect to learn much new information.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I now know much more history about Argentina, lots of specifics about customs, and tons of vocabulary that I have never picked up in the months that I have been living here. Bueno, entonces...you are very close to my heart. Or should I say…were close to my heart?

Okay, spoiler alert. Do not read further if you haven’t finished the Bueno, entonces...series.

First of all, Bueno, entonces...production, I am not sure how much I love you anymore, after seeing Episode #30. I mean, talk about leaving us hanging. Cruel!

Second of all, you need to finish level two. At least with True Blood, I know that it will start up again in two months. This whole open-ended thing is downright malicious.



Okay, so this is how Episode #30 goes down, más o menos. Today is David’s repaso, and the Bueno, entonces...crew is at her house partying while David talks to his family on the computer. He is also waiting for Mariana to arrive. Well, she was supposed to arrive over 40 minutes ago, but she hasn’t gotten there yet. David thinks that she stood him up.

Jimena knows, however, that Argentine girls make the guys wait—about forty minutes to an hour. While David is doing something, Caroline comes into the room, and they discuss the fact that basically Jimena has 10 minutes to invite David to dinner—like, on a date—before Mariana gets there.

WHAT?! Okay, not to get all Gossip Girl on you, but…this is pretty massive. After eating, breathing, and sleeping David and Jimena for the past month, them getting together would be colossal.

The suspense kills you. Jimena is being so painfully passive “Bueno, si, tengo ganas de salir. Que vas a hacer, David? Quizás voy a salir, talvez encontrarme con un amigo…” blah blah blah, woman, get to the point!

Finally, she and David decide to go out and meet one another for dinner—at this point, Jimena is quite anxious, as time is running out. We even get to hear her speak (and swear) in English. It is fabulous!


So, they are about to hang up and meet one another….and the doorbell rings.

…

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. That is what we are left with.

Is there a pre-order for level two?

Lesson Twenty Nine: La Palta Se Fue

So…I haven’t taken a break. I think Bueno, entonces...episodes #28, #29, and #30 need to be watched one after the other. I mean, honestly, after the Jimena jealousy and rant about Martín, how could I stop?

Well, I was right, something DID happen between Jimena and Martín. Se rompieron! The palta left her. Of course, David is shocked, stunned, almost speechless—almost. In they end they agree that it is una buena cosa para Jimena, un paso importante en su vida.

I think something is going to haaaaapppeeeennnnn (!!!!)

So, that’s exciting. Screw True Blood Season finale, I’m all about the Bueno, entonces...big shabang.

Anyway, we learn about Nahuelito, the sea monster in Patagonia. It has the –ito included because it is small, unlike Nessi. Entonces, los argentinos no tienen un Nessi, pero tienen Messi…que también es chiquito. Pero poderoso, el chiquitín. (I just love that word, chiquitín!)

Then Jimena asks what David likes to do on his vacaciones. He liked to go bowling, nadar con antiparras and go snorkeling with his…esnorquel. We talk about traveling in trén, avion, micro, delfín. Yes, David once was on a dolphin’s back and he said that pensamos que el piel es como plástico, pero realmente es como una alfombra. Hm, interesante.

We finish with David giving Jimena relationship advice. Basically, he says that she needs to meditar and then choose David. End of story.

Can't stop now...time for Bueno, entonces... #30!

Lesson Twenty Eight: Martín, Estás Escuchando?

Episode #28 of Bueno, entonces…starts out with David letting us know that his father was able to reconquistar his mom! Hooray!

They went out to a restaurante intimo and then spent a night in the Hyatt Hotel. Hey, if my husband flew across the Atlantic, took me out to an intimate dinner and then had reservations ready at the Hyatt, I’d be swept off my feet, too.

So, David was pleased, to say the least—in addition to his parents getting back together, he got the house all to himself and was able to caminar por la casa totalmente desnudo. And, obviously, anything involving nudity is a treat for David.

After a little outburst from Jimena (we’ll get to that later) we learn about different types of alojamiento, or lodging. We have hotel, hostal (remember, silent ‘h’!), and hosteria (inn), albergue juvenil (youth hostel), cabaña, y habitaciones en casa de familia. We also learn words like cama doble, cama matrimonial, sábanas, media pension, pension completa, pileta, gimnasio, baño privado, baño compartido, etc.



We then get into a little role play action, where David uses his vocabulario de alojamiento to call Jimena, who works for the hotel. She takes down the reservation, and then…well, sort of stumbles when David said the reserva was in the name of ‘David and Mariana’. David says that she is celosa, and she doesn’t exactly come out and say that she isn’t. Hmmm..

Bueno, during the last class, Jimena brought some torta for David to try and he said it was delicious. Jimena didn’t believe him, and when David brought up her cooking during this class, she flipped. Really, really sensitive in that department apparently. She even told Martin that he can andá a cagar…which is a pretty strong term for sweet Jimena to say.

I’m intrigued and I think I need to find out what happens ya! I see a Bueno, entonces…marathon in the very near future.

Lesson Twenty Seven: Resacas y Tacaños

David’s dad got to Buenos Aires last night, and had a night on the town—hence we learn the term resaca (hangover).

David wants to help his father plan a romantic outing with his mom, so he asks Jimena for some tips. Jimena gets excited and decides to aprovechar de la situación by learning como hacer invitaciones. She also points out that David is terrible at making invitaciones, considering she has not accepted a single one of them.

Before we do the invitation making, however, we sort of jump to the history of San Martín: el padre de la patria (father of the homeland). Basically every other street, town, and city in Argentina, Chile and Peru are named San Martín, so you see the name around quite a bit. Makes sense, since they owe each of their independences to him.

After San Martín, we go into a little bit of a repaso de la actividades de tiempo libre. We also learn some new vocab, like parque de diversiones (amusement park), montaña rusa (Roller coaster), arte, cinema, etc. All of these are included in the ideas for a romantic date night for David’s parents.

We learn the proper respuestas to invitaciones: sí, dale, buenísimo, perdón, and me encantaría, (which is generally followed by pero..., so it is negative). Oh yeah, we also talk about despedidas de soltero/soltera: where the women and men disfrazan, act crazy en la media de la calle, van a la calle en ropa interior, and well, have a jolly good time on their last night of soltería.

We finish with some tener que…vocab, and then we learn the word tacaño (tightwad--I think it was mentioned before, as well), amarrete (stingy), avaro, and miserable (which are nicer ways of saying tightwad). Jimena also tells David that Porteños tap their elbow when they talk about someone cheap. I´ve definitely seen this here a few times!

We finish up with Jimena letting David try some of her torta that she brought from home. He loves it, but she thinks he is lying and she sorta flips. Hmm...qué onda, Jime?

Lesson Twenty Six: Que Lindos Recuerdos Te Trae La Mesa

David started his kamasutra class—apparently he’s a natural. He already knows everything they are teaching. He’s a profesional en la cama, and Mariana dice todas mentiras.

Okay, David.

Jimena talks about her cooking class as well, and she is not afraid to admit that she still has a lot to learn. David suggests that they get together and have una clase de comida afrodíasca. Jimena humors him and says no es una mala idea. But, she seems sort of down today. Qué pasa Jimena?

Well, está cansada. Jimena is super type-A and was up all night arranging her muebles. From here we segway into learning about the ambientes de la casa, muebles and the adjetivos we use to describe muebles.

Por ejemplo: el sillón es mollido (the sofa is springy), está silla es de diseño (this chair is designer), la cama está rota (the bed is broken), la mesa falta una pata (the table is missing a leg), etc. Oh yeah, and apparently a coffee table is called a mesa ratona, which is weird because raton is a big rat. Who knew?

After learning about indefinite and definite articles, Jimena decides to study the Spanish vocabulary for furniture. “What, no game?” says David. “Bueno, a ver…” says Jimena. "I have an idea," says David. "How about we say if we’ve ever done cosas intimas in any of the muebles?" "Um, ok," says Jimena.

It’s a very interesting and inappropriate game, in true Bueno, entonces… fashion. Obvio.

We end the class with talking the “tener que…” phrases and then about conchas…of oysters, that is. Concha is a slang term for female genitalia, more like an insult,(something tells me that one doesn't think learn about this in Rosetta Stone) but it is also a word for shell. So, cuidado con esa palabra. Unless you’re David, in which case you not only use it, but you use it with énfasis—during this lesson, anyway. He tells Jimena that you have to smash the concha of the ostra, and the creature runs out and dies. Then you have to have sex in the spot where it died or you will never have babies.

Mmm..okay, David.

Lesson Twenty Five: No Hay Que Darse Por Vencido

David comes to his Bueno, entonces…Spanish lesson in a significantly better mood. His father is coming back to reconquistar his mother. No way is he letting this Argentine tango nene steal his mujer!

Jimena is also planning to get back Martín, and David wants to win over Mariana once more. This is where the vocabulario de romance es muy importante. Here are some phrases we learn: te amo, te necesito, te quiero, la quiero, me gusta darte besos, tengo ganas de hacerte mimos (cuddles). Hacerte mimos is without a doubt the cutest Spanish phrase I’ve ever heard. Sounds like something an e-wok would say. ;)

We also learn some useful Spanish phrases that I’ve heard over and over again here in BA: llevar a cabo un plan estratégico (to carry out a strategic plan), darse cuenta de la verdad (discover the truth), me sé la historia de memoria (I know the story by memory), no voy a dar vueltas—mejor ir al grano (I’m not going to run around in circles—get to the point), cuidado con meter la pata (careful with screwing it up), te salvaste por un pelo (you were saved by a hair).

Lastly, we learn a semi-new verb tense. Now, there are two forms of future tenses—the one where you conjugate the verb itself (i.e. iré) and then the voy+a+infinitivo. The second is much easier, and bonus, more widely used. Love it when those two go hand-in-hand.

So, to reconquistar los amores, Jimena va a tomar clases de cocina y David va a tomar clases de kamasutra. Jimena asks David, "Querés enganchar otra vez Marianita? Dale un toque, y si no pica, a otra cosa mariposa." (Ok David, you want to hook Marianita again? Give her a call [literally translated, a touch] and if she doesn’t pick/bite, move on to another butterfuly). A phrase I've heard over and over again here, interestingly enough.

Stay tuned!

Lesson Twenty Four: Engañado Con Un Pancho

Saturday repaso time!

Bueno, entonces…is getting a bit more interesting. David followed (verb seguir) his mother and the nene to Mendoza AND Jimena followed her boyfriend to the mall. Yes, Jimena, the one who is supposed to be the more sane of the two.

Guess David finally got to her.

So, most of today is a repaso, we but also learn how to expresar opiniones: para mi, en mi opinión, creo que, pienso que, estoy de acuerdo, no estoy de acuerdo, estoy en desacuerdo, me parece bien, nada que ver, no creo que, me parece bien (Ojo con el subjuntivo!)

We also learned a cheating phrase! “Te mete los cuernos” which means to put horns in you. Yeah, sounded sort of sexual to me, too, but apparently its just for cheating. I’ve seen people do the horn expression here before, but I’m not sure about the story behind it...looks like I have a new research project. ;)

In the end, Jimena sees that Martín is eating a ton of food in the food court at the mall: pancho, papas fritas, y pizza. But, I just left him a huge lunch on the table, she says. He never eats what she leaves for him, she says. She and David come to the conclusion that he is making up these lies and sneaking around because Jimena is a terrible Cook. Engañado con un pancho.


Ouch.

How was David’s excursión? Unfortunately, there were no epiphanies or new discoveries…maybe in the next episode we’ll find out that they’re not lovers, but that she adopted him? Less perverse, and David would have a new Argentine hermano!

We’ll see.

Lesson Twenty Three: El Servicio Completo

David’s mother is a cougar!

Her tango partner, a much younger Argentine, has apparently “fallen in love” (with her money) and now the two are going away to Mendoza.

David is pretty worried, because the boy is a nene (or baby) and David’s mother is paying for the pasajes y todo. Appropriately, we learn all about travel vocabulary during this episode.

The coolest part about this Bueno, entonces… episode is that I could upload it to my iPhone and I was able to learn about transportation while I was taking public transportation. Doesn’t get much better than that! I love that it is so portable because I am able to do my Spanish lessons anytime, anywhere. I don’t need a computer or book or anything, and honestly, on these nice spring days in BA, who wants to stay inside?

Anyway, we learn about buying tickets (ida and vuelta), different forms of transportation(micro, colectivo, avion, bote, yate), the different kinds of buses (colectivo, which is a city bus, and micro, which is a bus that goes to other cities), how to ask for an aisle seat or Windows seat (pasillo o ventanilla), and the different levels of accommodation on the buses (ejecutivo, semi-cama, and cama).

While Argentina is a very long country from north to south, most people still take the buses. Why? Well, first of all, the plane tickets are generally quite expensive. Secondly, buses ROCK! I took a bus once down to Bariloche (semi-cama) and the seats recline, the bus is smooth (no carsickness), and you get wine AND champagne with your dinner. Granted, the ride is about 18 hours, but it is a very comfortable 18 hours. Argentines know how to do it.

I hope David’s mother is okay in the end, and that the nene tango dancer doesn’t screw her over.

Guess we’ll find out in the next episode.

Lesson Twenty Two: Estoy Con Una Mala Etapa

In this episode of Bueno, entonces…we learn all about the vocabulario de los trámites. Now, trámites is the word for any sort of bureaucratic process—and here in Buenos Aires, it is SUPER NECESARIO to know these words. Trámites are everywhere.

In true Bueno, entonces…fashion, we have a really funny/perverse way of learning this terms. How so, you ask? Bueno….

David has been having a rough time. First the problems with his mother, then the crappy telo with Mariana, and now he has had quite the traumatic experience in the bank. Pobrecito.

Entonces, que pasó? Well, David needed to sacar dinero del cajero (take money out of the ATM), and he got into a bit of trouble. Apparently, cuando estaba en la cola (when he was in line) he answered a phone call from Mariana. Bueno, no podes hablar por teléfono en el banco. Well, David didn’t know this, and the policeman yells at him. David, being the pompus he is, waves his hand in the policeman’s face. Why? Who the hell knows. David is then confused by the cajero, porque dice ‘hace esto, hace esto’ and pobre David is lost. El se dio vuelta (he turned around) and accidentally takes the money from the person behind him, who happens to be a travesti (transvestite). This travesti apparently has tetas the size of pelotas de basket (important detail) and smacks David in the cara. David falls and grabs algo…this algo being one of the tetas of the travesti. Well, it…comes out…sort of, according to David (we are not given very good details.) Then, the cajero come la tarjeta de David. THEN, the policeman throws David into the calle, and he accidentally puts his phone on the speakerphone setting, right as Mariana está diciendo que el es malo en la cama.

Brutal.

Bueno, being the super on-task teacher she is, Jimena sees this story as an opportunity for David to learn about trámites and gerundios.

Como ya les dije arriba, trámites are terrible processes that generally take forever and make no sense at all. Fabulous, no? Well, besides words like ‘quilombo’ ‘jodido’ ‘mierda’ ‘boludo’ and so on (mainly used in migraciones), there are other more acceptable phrases that we use when discussing trámites; in this case, ones that take place at the bank (hopefully these make more sense than the ones at migraciones).

After this vocab lesson, we learn about gerundios, or progressive actions. These have a pretty basic structure: estar + verbo +iendo/ando/indo. These endings change depending on the verb, and are really useful when telling stories or, well, talking about a progressive action.

Anyway, I hope David gets better, but I can’t really hope for much. He’s pretty much a magnet for sketch situations. Pobre.

Lesson Twenty One: Es Un Cepillo de Dientes

David’s night in the telo fue una desastre.

“¿Por qué?” asks Jimena.

…

Well, David doesn’t really know how to describe exactamente porque, so Jimena teaches him some adjetivos de vivienda. We first learn the basics, like chico and grande, and then we go on to learn diminuto (tiny), gigante (gigantic), nuevo (new), antiguo (old), pesada (heavy), liviana (light), and then we move on to some cool ones, like estrecho (narrow) da a la calle (gives to the street, or looks onto the street), puerta corrediza (sliding door). These are very useful Spanish phrases when looking for a place down here, which yours truly is currently in the process of doing. While Tarzan speak and charades can generally get the point across, knowing the vocab saves you a bit of embarrassment.


Oh right, we learned that vocab so David could describe his night. Well, David’s night was terrible because el cuarto es muy diminuto, las paredes son muy finitas, y hay un sillón con forma rara que es muy incomodo. He sat on this sillón with Mariana y se cayeron. Ouch.

We move on to learn that David is a desubicado, or an appropriate person. He’s also grosero. Two new vocab words that are going right into Tara’s Argentine Urban Dictionary.

After having the conversation that sparked the ‘desubicado’ comment (something to do with a long, hard, plastic thing that gives you pleasure) Jimena and David talk about the whole renting process here. The garantia, por ejemplo, is really hard for foreigners to get in Argentina, so that is why we pay ridiculous prices (hooray!). I love that Bueno, entonces… mentions this, as it is something that foreigners will certainly encounter in their travels. It's a breath of fresh air--generally, online Spanish courses will teach you Spanish, but that's where it ends. To know the ins and outs of living abroad (well, Buenos Aires, in this case) is just as crucial, if not more, than learning the language.

Lesson Twenty: Hola Mano, Chau Chica

Oh, Lord. What an episode that was.

We start out with David asking Jimena for her apartment so he can have sex with his hot neighbor, Mariana.

And that’s just the start of it.

Jimena's response to David's ridiculous request? Ni en pedo. De ninguna manera. She doesn’t want him to have relaciones (sex, in Spanish) in her apartment. No, no, says David. No quiero tener relaciones, quiero tener sexo, he says.

....

Okay, so generally when I watch Bueno, entonces..., I keep Word open and take down notes as the episode goes along. This Bueno, entonces... installment, however, was just too much—I couldn’t even pause to write down the general themes. I had to watch it multiple times to figure out how exactly I would be able to write this entry in a somewhat eloquent and cohesive manner.

I'd say I'm failing.

Okay, seriously though, we're learning something...I swear. We learn how to ask to borrow (pedir prestado), how to say you will lend something to someone (te presto), the ser/estar conundrum, and the difference between por/para (which is a work in progress--you kinda learn as you go).

Poooor ejemplo:

Te pido prestado tu departamento para tener relaciones con Mariana.

o

Pido tu departamento por una noche solamente.

Useful, no?

Okay, time for the content/storyline analysis. The content in this episode of Bueno, entonces... was honestly much more interesting than the vocab. I learned all about telos--places where couples go to, er, tener relaciones. I had always thought these were kinda gross. I mean, imagine how many people ya tuvieron relaciones in these beds? According to Jimena, though, telos are completely normal in Argentina. I suppose this makes sense, as people live with their parents for a much longer period of time and there is little privacy inside of the home.

Jimena also informs David that telos are places that couples of all ages go--to variar las cosas, or spice things up. So, what is inside of a telo? According to Jimena, the nicer ones have jacuzzis, circular beds, water beds, mirrors, televisions, etc.

"Televisions?" asks David, "Para mirar que? Un partido de fútbul? Una pelicula de Schwarznegger?"

"No," says Jimena. "Para ver una película pornográfica."

David, of course, is stunned/excited. English girls would never allow this to happen. And, David always thought Argentines were muy conservadoras.

"Bueno, ya ves que no tanto," says Jimena.

I think David just fell more in love with Argentina.

Valientes for Fundación Discar

I've seen this billboard all over BsAs recently...proud of the cast of Valientes, using their popularity for the good!

...but what is going on with Mariano Martinez? Que cara de boludo.

Lesson Nineteen: Un Turista Mala Onda

David comes back from Mar del Plata today. He had a very, very bad time on his trip. Jimena asks why, seeing as how it is such a beautiful place.

“Nah, nah, NAH!” says David. It’s not beautiful at all, he says.

Jimena tells him that an Englishman discovered Mar del Plata—and no, it was not Beckham, David. It was Sir Francis Drake, and he called it Cape Lobos, because of all of the sea lions (called lobos marinos, or sea wolves, in Spanish) that are seen there. David is a bit confused. He didn’t see any lobos marinos in Mar del Plata. Jimena then asked if he went to the puerto or the pedestrian mall. No and no—David doesn’t know what she’s talking about...he didn’t see any of this on his trip!

Jimena doesn’t understand why he didn’t see these things either—what did he travel five hours for? David says it wasn’t a five hour trip; it was more like an hour and a half.

......

Ahhh, now Jimena understands—David went to La Plata, not Mar del Plata. Oh, David. Que boludo. He’s pretty pissed about it too, saying that it’s a tourist trap created by La Plata; why do they have two cities named so similarly only a couple hours away from one another? If David was in charge of things, all cities would have numbers, so as not to confuse one with the other.


Next up is vocabulario—we learn about the names of streets and cities in Argentina and Chile. Most of these are named after historical figures like San Martin, Juan B Justo, and Bartolemé Mitre. We also learn about the Spanish verbs ser/estar in terms of describing a city, and we learn about adjectives to describe cities. We also talk about taking the bus, subte, and train, which are VERY useful Spanish phrases in Buenos Aires. Thank you, Bueno, entonces...!

We finish with David talking with Jimena about the valor del sexo in a relationship (I don't really know how we got here, but it makes sense, I promise), and Jimena tells David that sexo no tiene nada que ver con amor. Of course, David disagrees wholeheartedly and says that Jimena only thinks this because her boyfriend is bad in the sack.

Lesson Eighteen: Cumpleaños y el Caso Perdido

Today is David’s cumpleaños! Wahoo! Jimena starts the class off by singing Feliz Cumpleaños to him, and he has a rather interesting response to it...

Anyway, today is also the Saturday repaso with Jimena. David tells Jimena that he is going on a trip to weekend—he had his palm read by a beautiful woman and she told him she was going to an astrology retreat in Mar del Plata, so he’s going to go as well. He invites his princesa Jimena, but she kindly declines, as she is muy relajada at the moment. She is going to meter in the jacuzzi, and David becomes quite jealous, as he discovers Jimena’s boyfriend is wealthy enough to afford a jacuzzi in their home. This whole jacuzzi thing is quite the distraction throughout the entire episode, which is unfortunate because David has a hard enough time staying on track as it is.

After the introduction of the jacuzzi distraction, David asks Jimena for an explanation in terms of the whole Castellano/Español thing. I remember being really thrown off when I first got to Argentina and everyone was asking me how my Castellano was coming along. Uh, you mean Spanish? Wait, am I learning the wrong language? Well, according to Jimena, both refer to the official language of Spain and of the language of countries that are ex–colonies of Spain. The word ‘Castellano’ comes from Castilla, the region in the central of Spain. Apparently, Castellano is the name of the language, and Español is the nationality of Spain. It is more modern to say one speaks Español, but Castellano is accepted, as well.


After the long castellano/espanol explanation, David and Jimena play a guessing game where David has to describe famous people. We then play Tutti Frutti, a game that is often played in schools here, where Jimena says a letter and David has to say words in specific categories that start with this letter. David thinks he will be a lot better at this game than he actually is, and the explanations for words he chooses are, as always, very creative. Sangre, in David's world, is an adjective used to describe a person. Reasoning? If someone was covered in sangre and you didn't describe them as being covered in sangre, it would be an inaccurate description. Touché.

On another note, my dad has been watching Bueno, entonces... as well. The other day while making huevos rancheros on top of tortillas, my mom said, "Wow, that's a heaping pile of food." My dad's response? "Yeah, it's a taco alto."

Interesting what one picks up during their Spanish lessons.

Lesson Seventeen: Lluvia, Viento, y Una Canción con David

Ah, useful Spanish phrases. Today's Spanish lesson couldn't have come at a better time: Buenos Aires weather is crazy at the moment, and today we discuss all of the ways to describe what's goin' on with the clima.

After a chat about a possible Bueno, entonces... pijama party (yes, random), we learned about the clima, or weather, with Jimena and David. Terms we learned included sol, despejado, nubes, nublado, viento, tormenta, niebla, hace frio, hace calor, llueva, nieva, etc. In addition, we learned the terms for the estaciones, or seasons: verano, primavera, invierno, and otoño.

I was able to use a number of these words with the lluvia de mierda that was falling durante todo el dia here in BA. Check out how many are in the following phrase: “Se fue el sol! Está todo nublado. Casi hay una tormenta—hace frio, hay viento y todavía está lloviendo….che, cuando empieza primavera? Por Dios!” I mean, kudos to me for being a good Spanish student and using my Bueno, entonces... vocab! I just wish I would have been able to use the terms for good weather. Sun, clear skies, warm weather...instead of rain, wind, and freezing temperatures. Dees-gus-ting.

On another note, we got to hear David sing again. I was waiting for another tune after his tango bit a few lessons back. So, David was asking Jimena what her signo (astrology sign) was—apparently, it’s the only way to start up a conversation with an Argentine girl—and she told him that she was a Virgo. Well, one thing led to another and we have David singing “Like a Virgin” in Spanish. I don’t know if it will stick like “poorrr unnaa cabeeezzaaa”, but it was equally as entertaining.

Lesson Sixteen: Compras, colores, y drogas alucinógenas

David letting Jimena know that he would be happy to accompany her if she needs help lingerie shopping. Jimena, not so happy with David's offer.

Jimena comes to class today very, very excited. She just won a $ 3000 peso shopping spree! Score!

Of course, to go shopping, one must know the proper vocabulary. In my experience, these words are the ones that differ most from country to country. Musculosas, polleras, and buzos are all words that I learned when I came to Argentina—I’d never used them in other Spanish-speaking countries. It’s really helpful, too, to know the correct vocab when walking into a store here in Buenos Aires, because it’s a pretty intimidating situation. Many of the stores on Cordoba, Cabildo, Corrientes, and Santa Fe are small and boutique-like, so there is no avoiding the sales people.

I know it sounds silly, but it is extremely nerve racking going into a place and not knowing how to describe what you want. After months here, I still go in and confuse the hell out of the poor employee. This particular lesson has benefited me the most thus far because we are learning very colloquial, conversational language that I could literally go out and use right now. I promise you, Rosetta Stone (and most other Spanish language programs, for that matter) does not teach you terms like these that you could literally take to the streets.

After learning about clothing, we learn about colors. I learned that there are some colors that change in terms of masculine/feminine, singular/plural, and some do not change at all. Never knew this! Por ejemplo: tengo una camiseta roja/tengo unas camisetas azules/tengo una camiseta de color naranja. (The hallucinogenic drugs fit in somewhere in the color section--guess you'll have to watch to find out!)

We then learn about objetos directos e indirectos. These are nothing short of a nightmare, let me tell you. I don't mean to be discouraging—they are just pretty darn hard to get right. Por ejemplo, if you want to try on a pollera, you say: ¿Puedo probármela? Or, if you wanted to say “Perhaps I will show it to you,” you say, "Quizás te lo demuestre." This is, directly translated, "Maybe you it I will show." The Bueno, entonces... crew obviously realized that this would be a difficult structure to teach, and the color coding that they use throughout is really, really helpful here. The phrase is broken down, so even while the concept is a bit daunting, you are able to see exactly what is going on.


Voilá! Easy peasy. Sort of.

Bueno chicos, eso es todo. Hasta la proxima!

Lesson Fifteen: Che, Flaco, Dame la Guita

Today in our Spanish lesson, we learn about how to describe people. Alta, baja, rubia, morocha, linda, fea, etc. We also learn that the terms gordo and flaco are used in a different way here in Argentina.

Flaco is used for people you meet on the street or people you don’t know well. Gordo is a term used among friends—it is a term of endearment. In Argentina (and many other Spanish-speaking countries as well) people are quite open about the obviousness of one’s looks. While in this case the term gordo can be used when speaking with a thin or fat person, if there actually is a chubby kid in the class, he is nicknamed gordo. Same with flaco. People are kinda okay with who they are down here...what a concept.

Aparencias shouldn't fool us, though:




Anyway, David has a hot neighbor in this episode, so he enjoys describing her: alta, flaca, rubia, ojos muy grandes y azules, labios como dos frutillas llena de jugo, piel como sábanas de miel. My favorite Argentine DJ also gets an accidental shout out: Hernán Cattaneo! Again, I’m happy the Bueno, entonces...crew throws in so much of the Argentine culture stuff—really, it shows that the research was done. Cattaneo plays at lots of the music festivals down here, and he's got a huge fanbase...probably because he is AMAZING.

We end with David calling Jimena an alcoholic. She gets defensive and he tells the oyentes to send letters of support to help her through this. David David, David...such a troublemaker.

¡Delpo...Campeón!

Essaaaaaa

Lesson Fourteen: Angelina y Brad Van a Cazar

David’s mother is going crazy. Apparently, Buenos Aires has made her a new woman and she feels liberada. He rants about feminists, machismo, and how when Thelma and Luis escaparon de la rutina, terminaron MUERTAS! MUERRRTTAASSS.

Che, por favor, no seas tan dramatico.

After David’s rant, we learn about the verbs seguir, conseguir, and perseguir—which mean to continue, to get, and to follow/pursue/chase, respectively. Now, each of these can be used different ways with different connotations, depending on the situation. This happens quite often in many of the explanations we are given when learning Spanish—a word kinda sorta means this, but not in that situation. All about contexto.

To explain siempre, casi siempre, de vez en cuando, casi nunca, and nunca, Jimena tells us about what she does each day. Desayunar, tomar café, tomar maté, comer sándwich o tarta, ir al gimnasio (inappropriate David comment #1), ducharse (inappropriate David comment #2), y acostarse. Que aburrimiento, says David. She deserves better, he says. “Burn your bra!” he says, as he whips out a lighter. So. Bizarre.

For the last activity, Jimena brought in a magazine and she and David create what they think the routines of Madonna, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie are like. And yes, it’s just as bizarre as you think it is going to be.

I’m starting to think David actually is a serious headcase. Yeah, I thought that before, but this lesson he demonstrates how much of a whack job he really is. Need more evidence? See below.


This guy is nuts. I keep forgetting that I am supposed to be learning Spanish, because his personality is so intriguing. So many times I find myself remembering the stuff he says in Spanish because it is so off the wall. A casa made out of basura for hormigas? Seriously?

Gotta hand it to him, though. Whatever he’s doing, it works: this stuff is sticking.

Lesson Thirteen: A Ella Le Gusta La Gasolina (y a Mi Me Gusta Ahorrar Plata)

Today we learn about the verb gustar with a little help from Daddy Yankee. This is one of those tricky verbs, because you have to pay attention to what you are going to say afterwards. Por ejemplo, me gusta la cerveza. The conjugation of gustar has to agree with the word that is following it. If it is plural, you need to add the ‘n’ at the end, and if you are talking about a noun, you need to article. Gustar is an indirect verb, meaning that you really aren’t saying ‘I like beer’, rather ‘The beer appeals to me’. To make it even more complicated, if someone says, 'Me gusta la cerveza. Vos?' you can’t say 'Yo tambien.' You have to say, 'A mi tambien.' It's one of those things that you only learn through practice, and a term that if you translate, does not make sense at all.

Speaking of beer and Spanish practice, I have to discuss something that happened to me this week at a little expat get-together I attended.

There were these two expats who were asking how I learned Spanish. Was it a certain class? A teacher? Did I buy Rosetta Stone and somehow magically learn to speak perfect Argentine Spanish?

Uh, no. It took lots and lots of practice. And lots and lots of beer.

Hate to break it to you, but Spanish doesn’t just “come to you”. I didn’t learn it with a magic program or from a teacher who told me all of the tricks. It’s a language, people. It takes time, sweat, blood, tears. Okay, well, hopefully not blood, but you get what I am saying.

While I can definitely recommend Bueno, entonces... over Rosetta Stone , content-wise, I can also recommend it to you in terms of cost. My advice? Never fork over hundreds of dollars for a program, because in my experience, there is no one program that will teach you everything you need to know.





Sorta speaks for itself. I did Rosetta Stone and didn’t really like it. Nothing was terribly stimulating, nothing kept me coming back. I certainly didn’t laugh. Now, I’m not saying it’s not great for some people—I’m sure it is. Again, though, there is not one single program that will teach you everything you need to know. What you don't want to do is buy an expensive program, just because you think that the extra $300 will teach you more. The price you pay and the amount you learn are not in direct correlation with one another.

So, how about you buy Bueno, entonces..., have fun while you learn, save that money that you would have spent on Rosetta Stone, put it toward a travel fund, and come down here for a little immersion?

Geniuuuus.

Celebrity Sighting in Palermo

So, here I was on Wednesday afternoon. Sitting on the 111, going down Paraguay, jammin' to some old Mana tunes, and who do I see in front of the Disco? MARITA BALLESTEROS!

...okay, so you may not know who she is if Valientes is not your religion, but because it is mine, I quase flipped shit when I saw her. Bah!

Nelly is Tired of English

I've been reading a lot about Nelly's new switch over to Spanish. Apparently, she's bored of the whole singing-in-English thing:

"Después de la gira de Loose estaba sentada en el estudio intentando escribir más cosas en inglés y no fluía. No estaba inspirada. Nada. Estaba bloqueada. Después de diez años de mostrar mi alma en inglés, de mostrar mi alma canadiense en tres discos... Estaba cansada. Estaba aburrida del inglés, de todo esto." (excerpt from Clarin, author Guillermo Zaccagnini)

To read the rest of the article (and hear her new song, Manos al Aire) click here.

Lesson Twelve: Me Frustro Tener Un Ganso Como Vos de Alumno

Today was David’s Saturday repaso or review.

Bad news. David’s mother isn’t leaving Buenos Aires. Apparently, she and David’s father are having a bit of a fight, and they might separate. Very sad for David.

Jimena, however, thinks that it is good that there is some sort of crisis. If they don’t have a crisis after 37 years of marriage, how are they going to clear up any unresolved issues? I think that there is a very different understanding of arguments and crises in Argentina. I can’t tell you how many times I have had my Argentine friends tease me for avoiding an argument. Isn’t this what we are taught to do? Arguing is frowned down upon in our culture, or where I am from at least; I mean, who wants to fight if they don’t need to? After much discussion with my friends here, I realize that we (Yanquis) just take it more seriously—when we argue, we argue. We get offended, we don’t talk to the other person. Here it’s so normal—it shows that people can talk about everything—even the controversial topics. People argue with their friends and then hug it out. Such a different way to look at it.

Anyway, we also learn some Spanish during this lesson too, in case you were wondering. We learn about the object pronouns, the direct and indirect objects, prepositions, and we learn that Simon gets around. David and Jimena play Simón Dice to practice the imperative tense, and after Jimena says, "Simón dice: Cante un tango" we are serenaded by David and his, ahem, beautiful singing voice. "Pooorrr una cabeeezzzaaa"

And then, in true David fashion, he turns into an ass and gets estrellitas negativas.

Lesson Eleven: Conjugo, Sin Jugo...Not Interested

David’s mom is leaving. Hooray! However, David is not as happy as we’d expect him to be—he’s sick ☹

Now, like most gringos, David is hesitant to head to the hospital. I hear ya, David. In the US of A, people can’t just go to the hospital for anything—we’ve got to be damn near dying to consider going to the ER. Even though David is from England, he still has the same concern regarding health insurance. Beautiful Argentina, however, has public hospitals and Jimena basically demands that David visit one. She tells him how to explain to the doctor how he is feeling (me duele el pecho y me duele la garganta). Jimena then tells him that she thinks he has angina—which we would think is really serious, but again, false cognate (I think?) In Spanish it means strep throat. David calls her a hypochondriac, and I don’t think he’ll end up going, honestly.

David asks how to get to the hospital, and we then venture into the different between hay and está and then imperative verbs (dun dun dun). My little profe guy agrees with me on this one: “The thing about verbs to remember is that they are absolutely infuriating.” Amen. In this lesson, I learned that Spanish has (depending on how you count them) between 18 and 54 different tenses! What the f*&%?! David is tired of it, too:





Anyway, we move on from that and get to learn the weirdest song in the world. Apparently, Jimena’s mother used to sing the following to her when she was sick as a child:

Sana, sana, colita de rana,


Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana.



Now, the second part I get (if you don’t heal today, you’ll heal tomorrow) but colita de rana means “butt of a frog”. Hm. David didn’t get it either.

Lesson Ten: Ya te lo Traigo

Today’s lesson was tamer than I had expected, unfortunately. After last episode’s raunchiness, I was hoping that the hilarity would continue. Nope, just weekend vocabulary, cognates, present vs. future tense, and letras mudas. Still useful, but no LOL'ing.

We learn in this episode about cognates and false cognates. I will always remember when I was 16 and at the dinner table in Brazil, explaining why I didn’t eat food with preservativos—only to find out later that preservativos in Portuguese is the word for condoms. Should have seen my host grandmother’s face during that one. Oops.

While studying at Universidad de Belgrano, I had definitely heard some Yanqui dudes saying that they are embarazada, or pregnant, when they were really trying to say they are embarrassed. It happens. I wonder if Bueno, entonces...will cover the doble sentido that they use a lot here, as well. Argentine humor revolves around doble sentido and sexual connotation. I love this H2Oh! ad—it so perfectly describes the awkwardness that is a parent unaware of doble sentido:

We also learn about present and future tenses, or how they sort of use present for future in Argentina. I find this sort of ironic, considering the speed of things here is so much slower than that of most English-speaking countries. “Ya te lo traigo” literally means that I am already bringing it to you. However, if you hear this in a café in Buenos Aires, it could mean that your order will be brought out in anywhere from five minutes to 35 minutes. My bet is it’s closer to 35.

Lastly, we learn about some slang for cheating. The term that immediately grabbed my attention was estafar. This means to cheat or trick someone out of money—sometimes Argentines call this a truco. There is a fabulous movie that I have to recommend that perfectly describes truco in Buenos Aires. The movie is called Nueve Reinas, and it stars Darín, who is a total fox. Capo total.

Now after you see that movie, see the new one, El Secreto de Sus Ojos, which also stars Francella, who is also amazing. Along with programs like Bueno, entonces...the Argentine film/ television industry is great tool in learning about the culture/language of this country—it also gives you an excuse to watch loads of TV and not feel guilty about it.

Lesson Nine: Querido, a Vos Ningún Colectivo Te Deja Bien.

Man, I love Spanish class.

I’ve said it before and will say it again : Bueno, entonces... is the best Spanish lesson series I have ever encountered. It honestly just keeps getting better and better. Today was no different.

I literally laughed out loud during this lesson. It was that good. I sat in my parent’s studio in Palermo with no one else in the entire building (still under construction) and just…laughed.

Today we learned all about time. And sex. And masturbation.

Jimena came out of her shell.

She was teaching David about time, and after asking him a few questions, she requested that he ask her a few questions as well. Well, we all know David is a pervert and wants into Jimena’s pants more than anything, so I knew the questions would be inappropiate. What I didn’t know was that Jimena would actually answer them:

David: ¿A qué hora te levantás?

Jimena: Me levanto a las siete.

David: ¿A qué hora te bañás?

Jimena: Me baño a las siete y cuarto.

David: ¿Qué hacés en los quince minutos? Like, what do you do in those 15 minutes before? Do you just walk around naked?

Jimena: Si, exacto. Eso. Mhm.

David: ¿A qué hora desayunas?

Jimena: Desayuno a las siete y media.

David: So are you in your towel at that point?

Jimena: Si.

David: ¿A qué hora te gusta tener sexo?

Jimena: A las nueve y media.

David: ¿En la mañana o en la noche?

Jimena: Las dos. Y a las tres de veinte también.

David: So, every 12 hours and once in the middle. Is that how you keep such a good figure?

Jimena: Si. Es mi secreto.

David: ¿A qué hora masturbás?

(Jimena goes on to correct him, saying that it is a reflexive verb—since you are doing it to yourself, obvio. So, it is te masturbás o me masturbo.)

David: ¿A qué hora extactamente te masturbás?

Jimena: A ver, un día normal, cualquiera, empiezo a las siete y veinte en la ducha, a las siete y treinta y cinco, mientras desayuno, a la doce y cuarto, a las dos menos cuarto, en el colectivo, mientras vengo a la clase de español.

David: I do that, too! There is a lot of vibration on that bus.

Jimena: (continues)...y después a las tres y media mientras miro la novela. Sigo?

Ah, man. It never gets old.

Lesson Eight: La amás o la odiás

David basically learns how to be a good Argentine in lesson eight. He is really, really excited to finally try maté, which is the tea-like beverage that they drink here in Argentina. We learn that maté is a symbol of communication—people drink maté in a group and pass the drink around from one person to the next. There is one individual who is the dedicated "pourer" and pours the water into the maté, and this is called cebar. Normally, the verb for “serve” is servir, but because the server is actually really the pourer, we use cebar.

Of course, David asks the inevitable question of whether or not Argentines are afraid of germs when they are all sharing the same straw. Jimena assures him that no, of course they don’t care. It is part of sharing maté.

David then tries it. Cue expletives. Not a huge fan, but as they say, la amás o la odiás. He'll get used to it, though. I remember having my first maté and hating it. It really does taste like grass. After awhile, though, you realize that it is a social thing. In a circle of Argentine friends, I would never say no to sharing a maté. I have discovered that some of my best conversations have been over sharing a few matés, and if that means I have to get used to drinking grasswater, so be it.

After learning about maté, we then go on to learn about adjectives (using the endings –oso, -ura, -ado, and -ido) and then more food vocab. The best part was in the end where we learn how to order without making an ass out of ourselves. What I have found with mozos (or anyone here, really) is that when they see a gringo face, it's like their ears completely stop working. You can be so close to being correct, but if the mozo looks at you like you're a tool, then you get nervous, and end up saying something like, "Want. Meat. Juicy. Potatos." With Bueno, entonces... , however, we learn exactly what to say and how to say it. A pretty novel concept, I know, to be able know how to say what you want to say. One would be surprised, though. In Argentina, I've said and not said things that I had no intention of saying or not saying. Without knowing I said what I didn't even know I didn't want to say. Es un quilombo.

Lesson Seven: Jorge Chan!

David is frustrated. He comes to class a little depressed today—he really, really wants to tell Jimena about what happened to him last night, but he doesn’t know how to conjugate verbs into the past tense. Jimena reminds him that he has only been learning Spanish for a week now, and that it is a bit early to start on past tense, but that if he puts it into context, people will understand. Yet another reason why Jimena is a great teacher--no one learns Spanish overnight, and if we take on too much at once, we beat ourselves up for making mistakes. Jimena obviously understands this and knows that the best way to learn Spanish is by mastering each level before moving on. Aw shucks, Jimena, you're the best darndest Spanish teacher ever.

Anyway, David tries this context thing. He had a terrible night. He had a date with the Latin woman in Lycra, and they went to dinner together. David asks the waiter for food, but his Spanish is really terrible. Another guy comes up to the table (Jorge) and starts making fun of him. Chan! Then, apparently those two (Lycra and Jorge) have dinner AND go to a hotel, leaving our poor David all alone. Chan!

I think David is kind of a bullshitter, and that probably didn’t happen, but I am stoked that I learned a term that I had never heard before. Chan! When something is surprising, people say Chan! I was telling my dad about Chan! this morning during our walk through Palermo parks, and he hadn’t heard of it either. Chan! I attempted to do the cool sound effect that accompanies Chan! in the lesson, but mine sounded pretty awful. I don’t have a clip of it to share here, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. Chan!

The clip I do have is of AWESOME, AWESOME REFLEXIVE VERBS. Mmm negative. At least David is as confused as I am. Check it out—I laugh myself. I wet myself. I become a river.

Insultos

Remember what I said about adolescents and their swearing?

Fernet Cinzano: Uno De Cada Diez

I'm sorry, too funny.

Valientes: Because it is Scientifically Proven that Beautiful People Help us Learn Language

Alright, maybe its not scientifically proven that it helps, but it sure makes it a lot more fun! Above are the three brothers on the show, Valientes. If you are in Argentina, check it out. It is pretty ridiculous, but Luciano Castro and Gonzalo Heredia make it all worthwhile. Leo, sos mi vida!

Lesson Six: Seis mas Sexo

Today on Bueno, entonces... we find out that on weekends, Jimena calls David to repasar what they learned this week. Jimena seemed a bit PMS-y at first, but we soon find that it was just the vino from the night before; well, that and the fact that David seems to cross the line of student/teacher appropriate behavior much more often on the weekend.

We first venture into reflexive verbs, as David needs to express that he has to shave, because he is going to cena with the girl in the Lycra suit from the gym. Oh David, you're all class. All class.

This whole lesson made me remember just how much I hate reflexive verbs. While we have our little professor man explain it to us quite well, it just...pisses me off. There are so many times where I say phrases and completely turn into a blundering idiot, saying "Te vas a bañar...te? se? Er...vas a ir a lavar...se? Sh*t!" I can't say anything that has to do with hygiene: brushing your teeth, shaving, taking a shower. You could be the dirtiest person in the world and hang out with me, because I wouldn't complain. I wouldn't know what the hell to say. My roommate always laughs because he doesn't get why anyone would have trouble with these verbs--you just need to use them when something affects you or falls on you or involves you.

Yeah, 'cause that makes TOTAL sense...not. I'd take subjuntivo over this crap any day.

Okay, the lesson goes on (thank God!) and we learn about numbers (regular and ordinals--hence the title) and then family members. We also find out that David's mom is a gynecologist, or a ginécologo. Now, go to this site, Forvo, to check out the pronunciation. Try saying that one 10 times fast!

Oh yeah, David's mom has been staying with him for quite some time now, and I forgot to mention it earlier. He generally complains that she criticizes him about the way he lives, dresses, etc. Typical mom stuff, but David is pretty funny about it. Apparently, she shops during the day and dances tango and looks for her own personal Antonio Banderas by night. Based on her habits, I think she and I would get along fabulously. David's mom has got it goin' on.

Annnnd on that note, I am out! Nos vemos mañana!