Lesson Twenty Six: Que Lindos Recuerdos Te Trae La Mesa

David started his kamasutra class—apparently he’s a natural. He already knows everything they are teaching. He’s a profesional en la cama, and Mariana dice todas mentiras.

Okay, David.

Jimena talks about her cooking class as well, and she is not afraid to admit that she still has a lot to learn. David suggests that they get together and have una clase de comida afrodíasca. Jimena humors him and says no es una mala idea. But, she seems sort of down today. Qué pasa Jimena?

Well, está cansada. Jimena is super type-A and was up all night arranging her muebles. From here we segway into learning about the ambientes de la casa, muebles and the adjetivos we use to describe muebles.

Por ejemplo: el sillón es mollido (the sofa is springy), está silla es de diseño (this chair is designer), la cama está rota (the bed is broken), la mesa falta una pata (the table is missing a leg), etc. Oh yeah, and apparently a coffee table is called a mesa ratona, which is weird because raton is a big rat. Who knew?

After learning about indefinite and definite articles, Jimena decides to study the Spanish vocabulary for furniture. “What, no game?” says David. “Bueno, a ver…” says Jimena. "I have an idea," says David. "How about we say if we’ve ever done cosas intimas in any of the muebles?" "Um, ok," says Jimena.

It’s a very interesting and inappropriate game, in true Bueno, entonces… fashion. Obvio.

We end the class with talking the “tener que…” phrases and then about conchas…of oysters, that is. Concha is a slang term for female genitalia, more like an insult,(something tells me that one doesn't think learn about this in Rosetta Stone) but it is also a word for shell. So, cuidado con esa palabra. Unless you’re David, in which case you not only use it, but you use it with énfasis—during this lesson, anyway. He tells Jimena that you have to smash the concha of the ostra, and the creature runs out and dies. Then you have to have sex in the spot where it died or you will never have babies.

Mmm..okay, David.